5 Reasons to Watch Big Love

Hey all,

So as I watch all my weekly shows, (24, Apprentice, Lost, Survivor, Sopranos) I have added a new one to the mix, HBO's Big Love.
Now most of my buds aren't watching this weird little soap (I'm lookin at YOU Thighmaster!) But I would now like to present 5 reasons to tune in after Sopornos on Sundays.

5. You get to see Chet's huge hairy ballsack slap the very bottom of his own asscrack when he leaps into bed! Bonus points for slow-moing it so you can check out his grundle!


Bill Paxton as Colonel Mustard

4. Jeanne Trippletits and the girl who played Kate Bosworthless's best friend in the grocery store in "Win a Date With Tad Hamilton" (WHO????????)


Oh...you.....how.....exciting..?

3. Chloe Severignytits dressed like a pilgrim with a French bread braid NOT sucking dick! Wait, that's a reason AGAINST the show. Scratch that one.

2. There is no number two.

And the number 1 reason is....

1. The Mean Girl from "Mean Girls" who isn't Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, or Lacy Chabert!


Guess which one it is!

Hmmmm, I don't think I've made a very convincing argument. Ah well. Go j/o to the Mean Girl. You'll feel better.

-Ross

I don't know Nuthin' bout Birthin' No Babies! (But James Does!)

Last Thursday my pal Jamie over at Barley Fields had his second child! A cute baby girl by the name of Sarah. James delivered the baby HIMSELF on their bathroom floor! But I'll let him tell the story. I hope to get down to MD soon to see the new addition to the family.


Jamie, Jack, and Sarah. (Mom not pictured :P)

Congrats!!

-Ross

New Jobby Job!

Hey true believers!

Well, I finally got myself out of the Restaurant biz, and got me a NEW job!
It's at a Post Production facility in Northern New Jersey. It's GREAT! Good hours, good pay, I get to drive my car. I am so happy and relieved to be working at a steady job again.

Hooray!

-Ross

Ross is the NEW George Costanza??

According to various ThighsWideShut reports, I am the new George Costanza. I don't know why I have been granted this dubious honor. The only thing I can think of is that we are both previously unemployed. Anybody else care to weigh in?

====
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Back with a Bullet!!

Hello faithful Blog fans! Well, when I made my last Blog entry I was 27, now ONE YEAR LATER, it's time for an update. A lot has happened so lets get right to it.


Yes, and that person is me!

When we last left our hero, (me) I had just quit my shitty job of 5 years and was unemployed. Now I am presently doing the thing people have been doing for ages...being a Waiter/Actor! Eh, but more of a waiter.


Would you like some of my "special" sauce?

I have been going on some auditions, but nothing big has really hit yet. I was in a small play which was a spoof of Saved by the Bell. I played every character other than the main cast. It was a lot of fun!


Here's our promo card. BTW, you missed the show.

Anywho who hoodle, lets see what's going on in the world today shall we? LETS!

Ytmnd.com seems to have some of the funniest shitz on the itranet. I urge you to go check out their Hall o Fame.

Oh yeah, our Vice President shot a 78 year old man in the face. Thank you Jebus!


Oops! That wacky Dick!

Which leads to a perfect segway to babies! (huh?) Me old Maryland roomie Steve just had a baby girl. Get er born Steve!



Some guy tried to commit suicide by crucifying himself. He called 911 when he realized he couldn't nail his OTHER hand to the cross. Passion indeed!

Maria Sharapova in Sport's Illustrated 2006 swimsuit issue!! Commence drool....NOW!



Speaking of NOWWW! I hope ya'll are keeping up with the new excellent season of 24. Also on my list of favories, LOST, Tivo or tape em bizotches!!


Stop looking at Maria Sharapova, NOW!!!!

At a Friday night party at the U of Pittsburgh, a student fell down some stairs and died. His friends put him on the couch, and, not realizing he was dead, continued to party. They figured out he was dead on Saturday. Beer = bad.

City bans hopscotch games on public sidewalks. Yeah fuck those kids, Fuck em!

Well, that's all 4 now. Big par-tay on Thurs night. Pics and story to follow. Until then, rest well!


Remember kids, Its NERF or its NOTHIN'!

-Ross

B'day Round-up and other Shizzle

Hey Folks! Well I'm a year older but not a year wiser, but I am still a wisenheimer!
B'day celebrations were great! Thanks to everybody who hung out, and even peeps who couldn't show up. Let's recap shall we?

On the actual day of my birthday I usually don't do anything since everyone has plans with their respective bf/gfs. So a friend of mine let me know that his Bluegrass band was performing at a club in the city. I went to check them out and they were phenomenal! They are called The DixieBee-Liners, and my friend Buddy plays the mandolin and sings. His girlfriend Brandi plays guitar and sings as well. If you ever have a chance to see them, make sure not to miss em, they are sure to please! Check their website for shows and other info.


Buddy and Brandi - aren't they cute?

On Tuesday my friends were supposed to all meet me at a bar called The Remote Lounge which supposedly is open at 6 PM. Well the bar never opened so instead we went to a little dive bar called 2B, which is located on the corner of 2nd and B. Wow! We had a surprise celebrity guest as James Gandolfini showed up at the bar! It sure was nice of him to come out for the party. Despite the location change, everybody still showed up and a good time was had by all! Dinner at the famous 2nd Ave. Deli was icing on the cake.


Happy Birthday, ya fuck.

Then on Sat me and Sentaak went to ye olde Strip Clubb. I met a new dancer there who was quite interesting. I asked her her name and she said "Yana" and I said, "What? How do you spell that?" "What is your name," she asked in a heavy Russian accent. I asked what her name was again. She screamed, " Y, A, N, A, YANA!!!!!!"
"Um where are you from?" I asked.
"WHAT IS YOUR NAME!!"
"Umm, Ross"
"Pleasure to meet you Ross, I am from Russia."
"Which part?"
"THE COLD PART!!"
"UH ok"
"You want sexy dance?"
"Uh, yes?"
She then proceeded to take me back to the couch.
"You like it rough?"
Before I had a chance to answer she threw me into the couch and jumped on top of me.
"Rar" she said.
God bless crazy Russian strippers.


Republik of YANA!!

And now for some Internet odds and ends:

Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring BANANA-PHONE!

What's so funny about this is not the woman getting hurt, but the non-caring reaction of her news co-workers. Yeesh!

According to this, 71% of kids say they "need" a vacation. I guess the pressure of not working to pay for rent, or food is getting to them.


It's a trap!

Jessica Alba says she's done sleeping around. Why am I always the last to know these things? DAMMIT!!


Jess, call me back, I'm still available!

Russian scientists develop tablet to prolong drunkenness. Wow, the fall of Communism WAS a good thing!


What a country! More drinking with YANA!!

And finally, a poster for a strip-club was voted "too obscene" by the community and underwear was pasted onto the poster. The underwear keeps getting mysteriously removed.
One mother said: "There are probably some little ones who might think this is Santa's wife."


Woah, Santa's wife is HOT!

Thanks to Fark.com for da news.

Peace!

Ross

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yes, folks today is my b-day! I hope you all have a great time celebrating ME tonight with your loved one.

Sayonara!

Ross

I be sick

Hey all, I have the flu. Sorry for the lack of updates. back to bed. :(

Ross

Brrrrr!

It's damn cold in my apartment today. The big snowstorm came and dumped about 2 feet of snow on me doorstep. What I find most funny about these snowstorms is the way the TV news handles them. They can't just tell us it's snowing and it's cold. They take a whole bunch of reporters and put them outside in different places so we can SEE that they are outside and its snowing! Wow! I wouldn't have believed you but NOW I do! And then they tell everyone to stay indoors and stay off the roads. Meanwhile the roads are full of news vans and reporters standing outside in the snow. Hilarious.


If only I could SEE how bad the weather was, I would believe it.

Found some good stuff on the net 4 ya'lls.

From the Thighmasta, check this kid singing into a webcam. Priceless.


Sing fat man SING!

From the old days check out this faux trailer for the snoozefest The Hours.


Hi! Yes I'm a lesbian, how'd you know?

Ross